dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
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