perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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