I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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