I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
i need some magic done to my vagina
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
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