Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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