How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
