I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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