yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
