so that wasnt chicken after all
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
