your room smells of hookers.
And success
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
