All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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