Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
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