Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
