gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
