Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
