You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
