She said her name was "party"
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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