i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
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He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
The uberlube is also flammable
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At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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