I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
