Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
