I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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