the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
