it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
