they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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