How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
