we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
