dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
