having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
