i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize