hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
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