i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
