apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
