you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
