Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
We need to rekindle our bromance
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
