fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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