any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
