I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
