She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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