she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
