dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
