in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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