You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
