New invention idea: vibrating tampons
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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