So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Randomize
