My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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