the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
you never un-have a 4some
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize