I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
There r osticjed everywhere
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Randomize
