How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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