I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
