then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
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