After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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