MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
be right there i have to get my cape
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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