seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
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