He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Can Purell be used as lube?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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