she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
