I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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