That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Randomize
