We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
